Letters
by anamoriel
Summary: ExT Eriol comes back to Tomoeda after a 7 year absence, pining for Kaho, while Tomoyo struggles to control her feelings about Sakura's upcoming wedding... [complete]
1. A Chance Meeting

Author's Note: Well, here I go again, a full year after stopping my whole ExT binge, writing another fanfic. But I have a plan this time! So maybe I'll actually finish. ^_^ 

*Edit* I took out the letters at the beginning of each part. It just didn't fit. 

Soundtrack (or what I was listening to as I wrote this): Don't Dream It's Over and Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS or anything of the sort. 

**Part One- A Chance Meeting**

She rushed down the hall, away from the sounds of cheer and laughter and an occasional drunken thud, clutching her purse to her chest. The heels were slowing her- she pulled them off and padded quickly towards the glass door just a few feet ahead. It was well after midnight, and the celebration had gone on too long for her sanity to bear. She had made a perfunctory excuse with her typical cheery face- not that anyone was sober enough to pay attention- and walked as calmly to the door as she could. Outside, all semblance of self-control flew out the window. Her curls flew behind her; the pent-up tears started flowing, her mascara trailing down her pale cheeks. 

            She had promised never to lose control like this, never let the world see, but it was all just too sudden, all of it. Her mother had been relocated to the US just a month ago. Sonomi had never been around much, but being at work and being on the other side of the world was quite different. 

            Then Sakura and Syaoran had announced their engagement. 

            She knew the day was going to come, that Sakura would never be hers, but this made it so _permanent_. This doused all hope, destroyed all the tiny fantasies she dared to indulge in whenever they fought (which was rarely). Her motto, that she needed only Sakura's happiness to make her happy, now struggled constantly with the horrible feelings of betrayal that sprung up. 

            She pushed the glass door, the only barrier to her freedom-

            But it wouldn't open. 

            "Damn you," she cursed quietly. 

            "Why, Daidouji-san, what language!" came a low voice, hinting at laughter.

            She stiffened. She hadn't heard anyone following; perhaps she was so far gone that she had advanced to full-blown hallucinations?

            "I didn't mean to surprise you, Daidouji-san." 

            He was definitely there. She straightened and grabbed a tissue out of her purse and wiped her face as best she could, unsure of how she looked. Then she turned to face the newcomer. 

            Face was perhaps inaccurate; she only came up to his chest, and had to tilt her head to look into the darkest blue eyes she had ever seen. There was a slight sheen from the glasses he wore, and he looked a little familiar, but nobody she could place.

            "I haven't seen you since elementary school, I do believe," the man said. 

            He made no comment about her appearance. Perhaps he was just polite. 

            "I'm sorry," she said, "I don't quite remember who you are." 

            He smiled a little. "I never thought you would forget me, Daidouji-san." He raised an eyebrow. "Even if I only spent a few months you with you and Sakura and the rest at Tomoeda?" His smile seemed very odd, now. 

            Only a few months. Only long enough to try to destroy Sakura-chan countless times, although his reasoning had been sound and Sakura made stronger for it. 

            "Hiiragizawa Eriol?" she asked.

            "The only," he confirmed. "But I'm being rude. I shouldn't keep you if you need to leave." He grasped the cool metal handle and pulled open the door, letting the chilly February air in. 

            Pull. Of course.

            "Yes, I do need to go, thank you," she said, stepping back into her shoes and walking past him. 

            "How are you getting home?" he asked. 

            Damn. She'd forgotten that. She had arrived with Sakura and had left her car at the Kinomoto house. But she didn't quite trust him; she never had. 

            "I called a cab," she lied. 

            "You need someone to wait with you," he said. A statement, not a question. And he went out to stand next to her.

            She could either admit her lie or pretend the cab never showed up. It would be easier to do the latter, though he would probably see right through her. 

            They stood silently for what seemed like ages, the cold air nipping at her unprotected face and ears and making her shiver. She tilted her head to look up at him. He stared ahead, seeming utterly unperturbed by the freezing weather. England couldn't be that cold, could it?

            "Would you like my jacket?" he asked suddenly. His perception was unnerving. "It's rather chilly out here," he said, pulling it off. 

            It would be pointless to refuse. 

            "Thank you," she murmured. He laid the jacket over her shoulders, and she pulled it tightly around her. He remained unchanged, practically a statue. The wind ruffled his dark, thick, blue-black hair. She had never seen any guy with nicer hair; his gleamed in the light, danced with the wind, and then settled down exactly as it was before. 

            Another couple of minutes passed, and since he seemed to have no intention of going away, she would just have to lie. Again. 

            "Oh, perhaps I was unclear in giving the address." She reached into her bag for her cell phone. "I'll give them another call." 

            "I can give you a ride, Daidouji-san," he said, gesturing at a car.

            She wished he would just leave. It was strange enough that Hiiragizawa-kun would come back to Tomoeda after a seven year absence, but it was stranger still that he would spend his time standing out in the bitter cold with her, rather than announcing his presence to the people at the party. "Shouldn't you get back to the party?" she asked. "You seem to have arrived rather late, because I didn't see you at all-"

            "I wasn't invited," he cut in. 

            She turned towards him, eyes questioning. "Then how did you know to come?"

            "I look in on my darling descendant and the Clow Mistress often enough to know these things," he said. 

            "Look in?" she asked suspiciously.  

            "Magically," he replied. "I had no intention of making my presence known."

            "Why not?" He was probably up to something again. But the business with the Cards was all over- perhaps his plans weren't magical, but conjugal? 

            "My darling ancestor would have interrupted his own engagement party to try to destroy me" –he grinned, looking disturbingly like the Chesire Cat- "And I don't think Sakura-san would have taken well to that."  
            It was a plausible, logical answer. But she still didn't trust him. 

            "You haven't answered my question," he reminded her.

            Oh yes, that. He knew she was lying, for sure, but he was too polite to mention it. And she did need a way home, but from _him_? Well, it might be good for her, not to talk to someone so sickeningly happy and drunk, to top it off. 

            "Yes, thank you, Hiiragizawa-kun," she said. 

            He led the way to his car, silently, and he opened the door for her, the very picture of a gallant gentleman. She slipped into the car and checked her appearance in the rearview mirror. She looked passably fine, if rather pale. He closed the door softly behind her. A second later, he was in the car. He started it up, and they headed out of the parking lot.

            "So how have you been?" he asked, turning the heat up.

            "Fine," she replied. He certainly wasn't someone that she would tell anything to. 

            "Fine?" 

            "Fine, Hiiragizawa-kun," she repeated.

            He wouldn't pry, would he?

            "Fine, at Sakura-san's engagement party?" he asked. "Should I believe that? It was all rather sudden, the whole thing; they're only seventeen, after all."

            She glared at him, and sunk into her seat. She never should have agreed to this.

            "Daidouji-san?" They stopped at a red light, and he turned to look at her. Those eyes…they saw too much. They would see right through her.

            "Yes, you should," she said anyway. She didn't have to admit to anything, not to him.  

            "But I don't," he persisted.

            "What about you and Mizuki-sensei, then? How are your lives?" she retorted. 

            He jolted, ever so slightly, and accelerated carefully as the light changed to green. 

            "I'm fine. Kaho…is probably fine," he said.

            So there was something wrong. She hadn't meant anything by her question; she just wanted a change of subject.  But apparently, she had found what she needed. 

            "Don't ask me about Sakura-chan, and I won't ask you about Mizuki-sensei," she said.

            He made no reply, and they drove in silence until they reached her house. She had never told him where it was or how to get there, but the reincarnation of Clow Reed could hardly need directions. 

            "So how long are going to be in Japan?" she asked as they came to a stop in front of the large brass gates.

            "However long it takes," he replied mysteriously. What trace of touchiness from before was completely expunged. 

            Cryptic. How lovely. 

            "It takes?" she questioned. 

            "However long it takes," he repeated. 

            "Well, in that case, I won't keep you from what you need to do. Thank you for the ride." She smiled mockingly, opened the door, stepped out and walked through the gates that opened automatically for her. 

            It wasn't until the next morning that she realized that she still had his jacket. At first, it annoyed her, because this was surely an excuse for another meeting. But then she discovered the letters the jacket contained, and she realized that this was definitely unplanned. The letters had all been returned unopened, and all were addressed to Miss Kaho Mizuki.


	2. Letters

Disclaimer: CCS isn't mine, or I wouldn't have to write when I'm supposed to be doing Chem homework. wanders off, muttering about 'evil science teachers' and 'pointless stoichiometry'

Soundtrack: Kai Bu Liao Kou and Long Juan Feng by Jay Chou, Game of Love by Santana feat. Michelle Branch, Picture by Kid Rock feat. Sheryl Crow

**Part Two: Letters**

"Maybe she won't read them," Nakuru suggested, somewhat calm and serious for once in his life. He was bringing out a tray of cookies and shoved one half-heartedly in Spinel Sun's general direction. Realizing that he was in no immediate danger of being sugar-intoxicated, Spinel kept his attention firmly fixed on his beleaguered Master.

"She will," Eriol said resignedly. He sighed and glared at the coffee table. She would just be the one to find those letters. The one he had decided to use to win Kaho back. There was no way to manipulate her, now. But as he thought about his plan and possible ways to salvage it, he realized how cruel and childish the plan had been. He was thinking with the mind of a seventeen-year-old, not somebody with Clow's centuries of experience.

Damn.

But perhaps Daidouji-san would help him, would work with him. She knew what rejected love- well, in her case not _rejected_, precisely, but utterly obliviousness to love- felt like. She knew what it felt like to want and to need desperately but to be forced to hide it. Perhaps there was still a chance for him. He turned his attention back to Nakuru, who had launched into a detailed description of what he planned to do for the rest of the day, obviously in hopes of distracting Eriol from wallowing in self-pity forever.

"…To-ya-kun and I do hope Yue isn't around!" Nakuru exclaimed, taking a bite of his cookie then thrusting it in Spinel's face.

"To-ya-kun?" Spinel inquired as he dodged. "Didn't I distinctly hear Yue or his better half threatening some very colorful things if you called Kinomoto-san that again?"

Nakuru launched into one of his old rants about that boring, tiresome Yue and how dear To-ya-kun needed somebody fun and exciting in his life and that if he would only give someone else a chance he would _see_ how much he was missing out on. That someone else being Nakuru, of course.

So Nakuru was going to Sakura-san's house. Daidouji-san certainly wouldn't be there the day after the engagement, but if he just went along with Nakuru and suggested a little coffee get-together, Sakura-san would probably welcome him happily. After all, Eriol had been away for seven years, and however much Li-kun detested him, he would never refuse his darling Sakura anything. Then Daidouji-san would be invited, and he would suggest after the whole get-together to walk her home, the very paragon of gentlemanly behavior. Then he could ask.

Perfect.

"I think I'll come along," Eriol offered.

Both the guardians stared at him for a half a second before Nakuru bounced up and said how great it would be for everyone to get back together again and Spinel Sun gave him a Look that implied that he had better be told exactly what Eriol was up to now (having come to the conclusion that the former plan would no longer work).

"Well, let's go then," said Eriol, reaching for his jacket. He could give them a call along on the way.

* * *

The tears began as she reached the sixth letter. As the letters progressed, they became filled with more of a sense of urgency, becoming less eloquent and more emotional. He needed Mizuki-sensei more than she could ever know, yet all she did was ignore him, oblivious to his pain. 

Or perhaps she knew all too well, and was unwilling to face him.

Tomoyo sighed, and put the letter down.

She knew it was probably wrong to be reading the letters, but they had been sealed with only a sticker each (it was strange to imagine Hiiragizawa-kun with stickers) and were tantalizingly easy to open. She learned more about Hiiragizawa-kun than he had ever intended for anyone to know, even Mizuki-sensei. She had become increasingly adroit, over the years, at reading between the lines. Nobody told her much because only one person was close enough to her for that, and Sakura-chan never wanted to hurt her. She was forced to hone her skills; if not, she would be utterly isolated.

The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Tomoyo-chan! Guess what?" squealed an exuberant Sakura-chan.

She suspected that a certain blue-eyed magician was involved. He had probably revealed himself to Sakura-chan, as part of his mysterious plan.

"I can hardly guess, Sakura-chan," she said. She tried to sound interested, but the crying hadn't helped. It was one of the reasons she never cried in the first place; it destroyed her ability to stay in control of her feelings.

"ERIOL-KUN IS BACK!"

She had expected that.

"And he said that we should all get together for coffee in an hour!"

She had not expected that.

"You'll come, won't you, Tomoyo-chan?" she asked excitedly, "It'll be so much fun!"

Fun, indeed. Facing him so soon again. Well, at least if Hiiragizawa-kun had something up his sleeve, she would be there to-

To what? It wasn't like she had any magic to protect Sakura-chan with. Not for the first time, she really wished she had some magic.

"Of course I'll come," she replied. "Are we meeting at your house first?"

"Yeah, Eriol-kun said that he might not be able to find his way because he's been away for so long," Sakura answered.

He was lying, of course. He had brought her home yesterday without even an address to guide him. He was most definitely up to something.

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can, I just have to finish up a little research for school," she said. She would bring the jacket and letters with her, and she wanted to finish reading the letters first.

"Oh, Tomoyo-chan, it's winter break! Just come as soon as you can, okay?"

"As soon as I can," she repeated dutifully.

"Yay! I'll see you soon then! Bye!"

"Bye," she replied softly, hanging up the phone. She reached for the pile of letters, wanting to finish them quickly; she was a fast reader, but the letters were getting longer…

* * *

Syaoran sat on the couch and eyed Hiiragizawa skeptically, considered the information given, and decided to stop asking what the hell Hiiragizawa thought he was doing in Japan. He had demanded; Hiiragizawa had smiled and replied politely; he had asked somewhat nicely; Hiiragizawa had smiled and replied insultingly; he had stopped asking; Hiiragizawa had smiled and offered a vague answer to his previous questions. Just one look at that annoying, _smiling_- after so many years, Syaoran still felt an instinctive urge to strangle him. 

He had actually been bursting to ask the question since Hiiragizawa called, but Sakura would have been horrified if he had been so rude to their apparent well-wisher, so he waited until she went to change. Surely she was ready by _now_. Sitting alone with Hiiragizawa (without attempting to maim him in any way) was far more difficult to deal with than Sakura's annoyance.

"So, Li-kun, when's the wedding going to be?" Hiiragizawa asked, all smiles.

Syaoran hesitated , and then replied slowly, "June thirtieth," all the while thinking that he would shoot himself if Hiiragizawa hung around until then.

"That's very soon, isn't it? Only four months from now."

"Well, Sakura-"

He was interrupted by the doorbell.

"That must be Daidouji-san," he said hastily, walking to the door and opening it. Sure enough, she had arrived, but strangely, with a dark blue jacket over her arm. A man's jacket.

"And that must be my jacket, Daidouji-san," Hiiragizawa said, walking up behind him. His approach had been silent- too silent. It made Syaoran very nervous, knowing how easily Hiiragizawa, with his cat-like grace, could sneak up on him.

She stepped inside and handed it over silently.

"Thank you," Hiiragizawa said, voice slightly on edge.

This made Syaoran even more nervous. Anyone that could make Hiiragizawa uncomfortable possessed great power, magical or not. And while Daidouji was Sakura's best friend, she had always made him a little uneasy himself.

"You're welcome." Her reply was cool, her voice controlled. She was virtually expressionless and very pale, though that could just be from the cold. She looked straight into Hiiragizawa's eyes for a moment, worlds of meaning in her lavender eyes, then turned and smiled at Syaoran.

"Good afternoon, Li-kun," she said.

"Er…" Syaoran said, "You want to go in?" He motioned towards the family room.

A pink blur rushed down the stairs. "TOMOYO-CHAN!" squealed Sakura.

"Or we could just go," he suggested, slipping outside.

"Isn't this so exciting?" Sakura asked, eyes shining as she led them out the door.

* * *

"And Chiharu-chan and Yamakazi-kun finally got together!" trilled Sakura, nearly knocking over her coffee. 

The whole trip to the café had been this way. Sakura bubbled with news about everyone at Tomoeda, the couples, the break-ups, who had gotten into which college; everything he acted like he wanted to know and more. Eriol asked polite questions and listened carefully, but the interested look on his face seemed somewhat plastered, Tomoyo thought, stirring her tea absently. He seemed a little preoccupied, though neither Sakura-chan or Li-kun seemed to notice. Eriol probably knew everything already, considering he "looked in" on them, and that only made her wonder about his ulterior motives.

He always had ulterior motives. Clow had worked on so many levels nobody was sure what he really intended to happen in the end (at least that was what she had deducted from one of Li-kun's patient lessons with Sakura-chan), and Eriol had obviously inherited that.

"So what about you, Eriol-kun? You and Mizuki-sensei?" Sakura-chan asked, jolting Tomoyo from her thoughts.

They were sitting at a round table, and she was directly across from him, in a perfect position to see his reaction.

He had obviously prepared himself for this question since last night, because his face was carefully bland, and he answered with a simple, "Fine."

"Just fine?" Sakura-chan's eyes twinkled like the diamond on her finger. "The last time you wrote, which was about two years ago (you really need to keep in better touch, Eriol-kun), you guys seemed much better than _fine_."

"She is well, Sakura-san," he replied, calm exterior concealing the fact that he was thinking furiously of a way to change the subject without being too obvious.

Tomoyo spoke for the first time. "How are Nakuru-san and Spinel Sun?"

He looked a little startled when she asked her question, but answered that they were, "Doing great," and launched into an amusing story about Nakuru trapping poor Spinel in a gingerbread house last Christmas.

Tomoyo stared at the ring on Sakura-chan's finger, watching it catch the light, sparkling brilliantly. Only Sakura-chan could make a rock light up like that, like it had a life and a soul of its own. It was a painful, blatant reminder of Sakura-chan's new status; going-to-be-married very, very soon. She wrenched her eyes away from that, and concentrated on her coffee.

Syaoran took a sip of his tea and pondered the events of the last thirty seconds. Hiiragizawa had been unwittingly backed into a corner, and Daidouji had neatly diverted an uncomfortable conversation for him, of all people. She had stayed very quiet for most of the conversation so far, and to interject solely on behalf of Hiiragizawa…It left some questions, to say the least.

"I do think Spinel was rather scarred by that whole experience," Eriol concluded.

"You will bring them by sometime, won't you Eriol-kun?" Sakura asked. "Or at least give them directions and tell them to come? I'm sure Kero-chan would like to see Suppi-chan again!"

"I'll tell them, Sakura-san. But I do believe I've taken up over an hour of your time already, and I should be going," he said, standing up.

Syaoran gave a small sigh of relief. Sakura protested, but Hiiragizawa deflected her protests with an apologetic smile and a promise that they would meet again. Daidouji also stood, saying that she had some work to finish, and would see them later.

They were leaving together. This was too weird, in Syaoran's mind, but Sakura snuggling up to him as they left destroyed any ability he had to think about the matter.

"You know," she whispered in his ear, "Daddy's at the university until late today and Onii-chan left to go skiing with Yukito-san for the weekend."

The possibilities were endless.

* * *

"I'll walk you home, Daidouji-san," he offered as they stepped outside. 

"No, thank you, Hiiragizawa-kun," she replied, walking past him. The day was cool, though warmer than the night before. It was a classically beautiful day, with a few wisps of clouds in the sky, the sun shining brightly. Shining like a newly-engaged girl's face, or the precious gem on her finger.

He held the door open for an elderly couple, then caught up to her easily; his strides were twice the length of hers. "May I walk with you then?" he asked.

She nodded ever so slightly, knowing that it was as good as agreeing to his first question, because she had no idea where he lived and he could just follow her as long he wished. It didn't really matter; she had only wanted to get away from Sakura-chan and Li-kun, who would undoubtedly begin cuddling as soon as Sakura-chan's attention was drawn away from Hiiragizawa-kun. They walked in silence down the busy street of little shops. Little girls squealed and pointed in front of a stuffed animal store; little boys chased each other up and down the street; couples came and went, holding hands and window-shopping. Minus the hand-holding, they must look like a couple, she thought suddenly. Where had that come from?

As soon as they turned onto a quieter street, Hiiragizawa-kun started to ask something, then stopped.

"Yes?" she prompted. Was he going to ask if she read the letters?

"I was wondering," he began again, slowing his pace, "If you would be willing to help me with something."

Well, this was new. Hiiragizawa-kun asking for help, and from her. "With what, precisely?" she inquired.

"Kaho and I have been having some…problems," he started, unsure of how much she knew.

Problems was certainly an understatement, but if he was going to assume that she was good and innocent and hadn't touched the letters, she felt no need to inform him otherwise.

"And I was wondering," he continued, "I was wondering if you would pretend to be my girlfriend for a while."

If it wasn't Hiiragizawa-kun, she would swear he was kidding. She stopped and stared at him for a moment, searching his face. "You're…you're really serious, aren't you?"

He sighed and leaned on the wall next to them. Ivy spilled over the edge and he twirled a vine in his fingers as he looked up at the sky. "I wish I weren't," he said, glancing at her, expression almost apologetic. "And while you aren't the only girl I know in Japan, you're one that I think I can trust." He looked away again. "I need-"

"I know," she interrupted softly.

His head turned ever so slightly in her direction, and since the sun glinted off of his glasses, it was difficult to tell if he was looking at her or not. He probably was.

"Will you then, Daidouji-san?" he asked again.

She glanced up at the sky herself then turned towards the vines, giving every impression of studying them closely. "I don't suppose you would call me that anymore," she replied, not quite ready to face the question.

"No," he agreed.

She reached a hand out to unthread the unruly tangle of ivy, as she had untangled Sakura-chan's hair so many times before. Through her years, she had fully devoted herself to Sakura-chan, and fended off all prospective suitors with her aloofness. She had severed ties with most people, until her life basically revolved around Sakura-chan. And now she would have to pretend- if she agreed, that is- to be in love with someone else. Could she love somebody else? She shook her head, trying to clear it of troubling thoughts.

"No?" he interrupted her reverie sharply, his body tensing a little.

She dropped the vines. "What?"

"You shook your head, Daidouji-san."

"Oh, no, I just- I was thinking," she explained.

"I understand." He relaxed back against the wall, settling for a wait.

There could be worse things, she mused. She couldn't think of them right now, but she was sure that there could be worse than pretending to be Hiiragizawa-kun's girlfriend. It sounded so odd, even in her mind.

Though, actually, it might even be good for her. Sakura-chan's wedding was horribly imminent in her mind, and as it got closer, she would probably obsess more and more. Using her energy to pretend, and to make him happy, if not her…it had its merits. But her mind wailed objections even as, rationally, she thought that the idea was plausible.

"May I give you an answer tomorrow?"

"Of course," he replied. "I will be home all day, so you can come by at any time- unless you want me to go to your house?"

"Oh, no, I'll give you my answer by late tomorrow afternoon- does five sound all right?" It wasn't really that she had anything to do tomorrow, but perhaps by then, her mind would come up with a solid answer as to what it wanted her to do.

"It sounds perfect. I'll see you then," he said as he walked away, and she thought she heard a very faint, "Tomoyo."

* * *

Author's notes: Well, I worked very, very quickly on this; if anybody's actually keeping track of this story, don't expect future chapters quite so quickly. I know it's choppy, but I write in spurts, so… This was a product of many late nights and not doing homework when I was supposed to (which also resulted in mass hallucinations, but we won't get into that. I swear I heard the phone ring like twenty times as I wrote this, and in actuality, it NEVER RANG.). Please review, guys… 


	3. Realization

Disclaimer: Blahblahblah I don't own CCS Blahblahblah…

Soundtrack: I'm sorry by BoA, You Mean Everything to Me by Lena Park

**Part Three: A Realization**

She arrived promptly at five. Nakuru threw the door open, took a leap towards her, squealed "Tomoyo-chan!" and threw his arms around her in a massive hug. "I haven't seen you in _forever_!"

She turned blue.

"You do realize that you're choking her, Nakuru?" came a voice from the house.

Nakuru, thankfully, let go and turned to face the newcomer. "Oh, Suppi-chan, Tomoyo-chan would tell me if I was choking her, wouldn't you, Tomoyo-chan?" Tomoyo smiled weakly at her, angling her head down so she could rub her neck inconspicuously.

The little blue guardian flew out to perch on her shoulder. "You don't have to lie, Daidouji-san," he told her.

"It's very nice to see you both, Nakuru-san, Spinel-san," she said, looking up. The question was probably best avoided.

"Very nice, indeed," interrupted Eriol, gliding out from the dark.

She was hardly surprised that he had waited to make his entrance. He had a flair for the dramatic, and when he wanted his presence known, it was _announced_, ever so subtly.

What was surprising was how casual he looked. His loose shirt was unbuttoned to the navel and his hair looked slightly unkempt. It was quite a change from his usual impeccable self, and it bothered her. She had never seen him so relaxed. The thought of Hiiragizawa-kun ever being able to relax was unnerving in itself.

Nakuru and Spinel Sun slipped inside.

"Good afternoon, Hiiragizawa-kun," she said.

"Good afternoon, Daidouj-san. Won't you come in?" He led her into an old, slightly musty room. She sat on the sofa and surveyed the room. Everything in the room felt that way: the grandfather clock, the coffee table, the sofa and armchair, even the wallpaper.

"I brought some things over, from England," he said, settling into the plush armchair.

"It's very nice," she remarked.

There was a brief silence, then he asked, "So how did you find your way here? I don't believe I remembered to give you my address."

"I called, and Nakuru told me," she replied.

"Ah."

They fell silent.

She eyed him, unsure of when and where to begin with their true business with each other; he looked at her also, though without her knowledge (his peripheral vision had been sharpened through years of surreptitious spying), wondering just when she would give him her answer.

Minutes passed. Tomoyo pretended to study the room some more, he pretended to study nothing; an occasional shriek from Nakuru was the only noise that filled the house.

"I'll do it," she said suddenly. Her hand smoothed her skirt; she studiously avoided his eyes.

He gave her a long, measuring look. "You know what this means?" he asked gently.

Tomoyo answered frankly, concealing nothing in her tone. "Yes, Hiiragizawa-kun, I thought about it a lot." Don't ask me more, she meant.

His voice was carefully neutral. "Indeed." I won't.

She looked up and met his eyes for a split second, then looked away again. She didn't think that she would ever be able to look at those eyes as she did any other. The depth in them could hardly be natural. "Yes," she replied softly. Thank you.

"Well, thank you, then," he said.

"You're welcome."

"Eriol, perhaps?" He looked straight at her. "Tomoyo?"

Tomoyo? Eriol?

And then it hit her, all at once. The enormity of what she was doing. She would be acting again, in her life, playing another role on top of all she already did. Another role.

What had she done?

She made a quick excuse, and started for the door.

"I'll see you Saturday?"

She stopped.

"I need to do research that day," she replied. She didn't want to start this now. She shouldn't have agreed to it. It seemed foolish.

"Do it tomorrow," he suggested.

She made no reply.

"The more you think about it, the harder it will be, Daidouji-san." His voice was low and steady, from barely a foot behind her. She had never heard him stand or walk towards her; he was uncanny that way.

"I have research," she repeated, a hint of desperation in her voice.

He stepped around her and led her silently to the door. "Goodbye then," he said.

"Goodbye."

She stepped outside, skirt rippling in the light wind; hair reflecting the colors of the setting sun; for all the world looking like a portrait, serene and poignant.

That was a strange thought.

He shook his head and closed the door.

"That was fast." Suppi-chan flew out of the shadows to hover next to him.

He sighed. "Yes, it was. Was Nakuru eavesdropping also?"

"Of course." The little blue guardian perched on his shoulder. "Did Daidouji-san really agree?

"I think so," he said.

"Are you really going to leave her alone?"

"No…" he replied. He stood straighter and his tone became more decisive. "No. I won't."

* * *

She had been sitting at a desk in the far corner of the massive University library for an hour now, staring off into space, occasionally flipping a page in the encyclopedia she had picked up to make it look like she was actually working. Nobody had questioned her entrance; she looked old enough and she caused no disruptions. She often came here to think, to be alone. The library had another built-in bonus; if anyone wanted to check on her (which nobody did), her excuse of "research" would not seem to be lie. She liked the darkness; the mostly secluded feel, the slightly musty smell. Now that she thought about it, it had the same feeling as Hiiragizawa-kun's house: an old that stretched beyond imagination. 

She supposed that now that she had so thoughtlessly agreed to his little plan she should live up to her part of it. But her other roles were already wearing her down; staying cheery in her letters and phone calls to her mother; being excited for Sakura-chan and pretending not to notice when Sakura-chan and Li-kun started cuddling; playing the best friend role to the fullest, so that her other friends, or Sakura-chan's other friends, really, wouldn't notice anything wrong with her. Not that she was unhappy playing those roles. Those were for Sakura-chan, and she would give anything for her. But this one was for a virtual stranger, and it would take more acting than she had ever been capable of.

A crash sounded behind her. She turned and rose out of her chair to help the hapless student.

A pair of dark blue eyes met her.

She turned back around.

That was no accident. Hiiragizawa Eriol did not have accidents. He could avoid anything he pleased, down to controlling the sound of his own breathing.

"So what are you researching, Daidouji-san?" he asked politely, gathering the books in his arms and placing them carefully back on the shelves.

She closed the encyclopedia. "I'm done," she replied.

He put the last book on the shelf, then took a deep breath and came around to stand beside her. "Until the cherry blossoms, that's all I ask. Two months, tops."

The abrupt change of subject threw her for a moment. Cherry blossoms…why did he have to add those little barbs?

"That's how long Mizuki-sensei's going to be Japan, isn't it?" she asked, voice exuding absolute innocence.

He looked startled, and a pained expression crossed his face.

Good. If he wanted to casually hurt her every time he spoke to her, she would do the same to him.

"She isn't the jealous type, though," she continued lightly but mercilessly. "She's stronger than that. Strong enough to leave you even under threat."

He was silent, pondering, looking at her like he was seeing her for the first time. He knew now that she had read the letters, of course.

"You're bolder than I thought you would be, Daidouji-san," he said finally. "But what you said was indeed the truth. Even knowing that, will you help me?"

And it all came back to that.

"Stop bringing up Sakura-chan all the time. Unless I bring her up, we will not talk about her," she said.

"Yes," he agreed.

Silence.

"We should begin, then," she said, standing to put her book away. He took it gently out of her hand.

"I should take this," he said, and placed the book back in its slot. He offered her his hand, but she shook her head. It was far too early for that. He motioned for her to go ahead of him, and they walked out of the library in silence.

* * *

"The beautiful enchantress finally found her love," Yamakazi said grandly. "And that-" he grinned widely "-is how the season of Spring came to be!" He finished with a flourish and an impish grin, pointed quite obviously in Chiharu-san's direction. Chiharu was sitting on the grass with everyone else, and she blushed as he stepped over to her, pulled out a tulip from behind her ear and offered it to her. 

That had been a good trick to teach him, Eriol decided as he watched.

"Now, for why tulips can have two different colors," Yamakazi began eagerly, taking two steps away from Chiharu-san, who promptly bonked him with her newly-acquired flower.

"Shut up," she said affectionately, and pulled him down next to her. He attempted to continue, but she effectively silenced him with a kiss that left him grinning idiotically and the other boys of the group whooping.

He and Kaho had never really been like that, emanating cheeriness when they had been together. They had both been older, mentally, and he had never really enjoyed the adolescent joy that so many of his friends had.

He glanced at the small figure sitting right next to him, not lying in his lap like Sakura-san was with Li, or sprawled all over each other like everyone else. Daidouji-san- wait, Tomoyo- sat straight, not rigid but still managing to look dignified, even in the middle of a soccer field.

She probably never experienced joy at all. Not her own, anyway.

They had been putting up their little façade for two weeks now, but nothing felt natural about their acting at all. They managed to fool and satisfy everyone's questions, except perhaps Li's, but he had always been annoyingly suspicious. They rarely went anywhere together in public, so they had decided on this surprisingly warm day to get everyone together. They weren't creating the image he had hoped, however. He wished that Tomoyo would relax more, make their whole act convincing, but he wasn't exactly a model of casualness, so he supposed that he couldn't blame her.

Nobody had said anything about inviting Kaho, so he assumed she hadn't told anyone that she was in Japan.

"Hey Hiiragizawa," Yamakazi called, "Soccer?"

Soccer. A chance to make his dear descendent look idiotic in front of Sakura-san. It sounded promising; it might even make him forget about Kaho for a moment.

"Sure," he said, rising. "Cheer for me?" he asked Tomoyo slyly.

She glared. A small, hardly recognizable glare, disguised under a small but feral smile, but her eyes told it all.

"Of course," she replied.

As he walked to join the other boys, Sakura turned to Tomoyo.

"Um, Tomoyo-chan," she began, uncertainly.

"Yes?"  
Sakura picked a flower from the middle of a clump of grass, looked at it, then offered it to Tomoyo. She took it. "It's very pretty," she commented.

Sakura took a breath. "I was wondering if, since, well, I mean, I thought it would be a bit strange to ask this at first, but since things seem to have fallen together so well, would you and Eriol-kun do a song together at the wedding reception?"

Tomoyo froze, imperceptibly to most, and certainly to Sakura. Her brain screamed no; every logical, rational part of her shrieked NO, but the part of her that had loved her friend since she first laid eyes on her told her that she should answer yes. And so she did, disregarding the voice that told her that she would never survive until the reception; that her composure would be nonexistent by that point; that she would probably have hidden somewhere by then.

Sakura smiled happily. "I was never sure if you liked Eriol-kun, I mean, as a person, but apparently you've liked him as a lot more than that, it seems perfect. I've always wanted you to sing, and since Eriol-kun plays piano so well, and I'm sure he composes, it will be wonderful!" She clapped her hands delightedly and giggled like the little girl she would no longer be, after the _day_.

Tomoyo gave her a weak smile in return and started pulling petals as she stared at the boys playing soccer, though she paid them no attention.

She loves me.

She loves me not.

She loves me.

She loves me not…

* * *

Eriol walked Tomoyo to her door, and she slipped inside quietly. It was always like this. When there was no need to act, they were simply friends. If that. 

Then he felt _her _presence. She wasn't far, perhaps a street or two away. Finally, after all this waiting-

But Tomoyo. If anyone saw him, what they must think…

No. He wouldn't let peoples' perceptions get in the way of his goal; Tomoyo would understand.

He walked through the gates, which automatically swung shut behind him, and he walked towards the direction of his feeling. He turned a corner, then another, until her presence seemed immediate. He heard her laugh; a beautiful, throaty sound. It gave him hope, that she was happy; she must not be resenting him any longer. His steps quickened ever so slightly.

"It's so beautiful," her voice came as he neared. He smiled.

"I knew you'd like it," said a male voice.

Eriol stopped.

She laughed again, and finally, she and the man she was with came into view. Their hands were intertwined, their relationship evident. She held a small box in her free hand, which settled around the man's neck as she leaned up for a kiss.

How could she? he asked himself as he turned rapidly and headed in the opposite direction, unsure of where he was heading, but feeling the need to _get away_ from what he had just witnessed. They had been apart for sixth months, at the most, and already she had found someone. And he had foolishly believed that he could win her back the entire time. He had fatuously asked Tomoyo to help him in a fruitless quest.

How could he have not seen it? He had driven her away. With everything told straight, he was to blame for losing her.

He stopped and leaned against a gate. Clow's years of experience had done him no good, today. He had completely disregarded Clow's aborted efforts in the past, completely ignored the hundreds of years that he had to call on, and this is where it got him. Acting like a naïve teenager.

"Excuse me, Hiiragizawa-sama."

He whirled around, to see an old lady on the other side of the gate.

"Are you here to see Daidouji-sama?" she inquired.

Startled, he looked at the mansion behind the gates. The Daidouji mansion. He must have come back here completely by accident. But Hiiragizawa Eriol never made such coincidental mistakes, not even when he was behaving like a mere teenager.

He caught a glimpse of long dark hair in an upstairs window, and his breath caught in his throat for a fleeting second.

Then he began to laugh.

It wasn't about Kaho anymore. He realized that now. All he had felt after seeing her with that man was how stupid he had been; he didn't feel the deep hurt that should have accompanied such a revelation. He didn't love Kaho anymore.

"Hiiragizawa-sama," the woman asked again, "Are you here to see Daidouji-sama?"

Smiling, he told her yes, and she opened the gates for him and bustled down the walk and into the house, calling for her mistress.

Tomoyo, he thought as he walked towards the front door for the second time in less than an hour. It was Tomoyo, now.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long… I've been really really busy and sort of blocked, but tonight I finally finished this part off. I definitely realize why so many authors get rid of Kaho _before _the story even begins, or have a convenient explanation that makes sure that Eriol is already over her. Meh. Anyway, if I finish this by the end of the year, I will be very, very proud of myself. RR please, thanks. I think Eriol might be a bit OOC in here, but I hope I cleared that up at the end… constructive criticism is _very very very_ welcome. 


	4. A Song and a Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, it belongs to Clamp. However, if anyone is willing to sell me Eriol or Syaoran so that I can bring them to school with me to display for the world to be jealous…

Soundtrack: An Hao by Jay Chou, Because I'm a girl by Kiss

Author's Note: Review m'darlings…

**Part Four: A Song and a Kiss**

Tomoyo looked at Hiiragizawa-kun (it was hard to think of him as Eriol) uncertainly from across the coffee table. He leaned casually against the side of the armchair, looking at her with a half-smile, and he didn't seem to have any intention of speaking. A silent contest was pointless, she decided, and she was going to find out why he was here so soon again.

"Hiiragizawa-kun," she ventured, "Are you here because of what Sakura-chan asked?"

His half-smile didn't waver, and he asked politely, "What did Sakura-san ask?"

She silently berated herself for opening her mouth. Looking down at the armrest of the couch, she wondered how she would answer this. She wasn't a good liar; it seemed strange, since she never really told the truth to anyone, but outright lies were difficult. Half-truths, smiles without answers- those were easy. Looking someone in the eye and telling them something patently untrue was simply impossible.

"Tomoyo?"

She looked up at him. His use of such a familiar address still unnerved her. "Sakura-chan…" she began, as she traced the embroidery on the couch. "Sakura-chan asked me- well, she asked us- if we could do a song together. At the reception." Her stumble over reception was barely perceptible, but she could feel his eyes suddenly looking at her much more forcefully.

"And you said?"

It was hard not to look up. Magic simply was not fair. It seemed like he was willing her to look at him; like he was casting a spell over her. She bit her lip.

No, she thought, as droplets of coppery liquid trickled into her mouth. He was just making her paranoid, sitting there so calmly, and clearly so full of some untraceable emotion.

"I said yes, of course," she told him, tracing the embroidery with vigor. She would not look up.

"Of course," he echoed. "We should choose a song then. Unless she suggested one?"

Tomoyo shook her head.

He stood, and she chanced a glance at him. Would he leave now?

"May I use your piano?" he asked, catching her eye as he walked over and sat down on the bench.

She looked quickly back down as he began to play.

* * *

Eriol's lifted his hands from the keys, beginning with his wrists, in a movement that extended the piece even beyond the music. Standing quietly, he replaced the cloth over the keys, and closed the cover gently. 

He turned to face her. Something twisted in his stomach as he saw her closed eyes, long lashes fanning out, and single tear down her cheek. He walked tentatively towards her.

Tentatively? Had he ever been tentative in his life? Had he ever cared enough to be tentative? He had always been confident, often cocky; he could talk his way out of any trouble, and if worst came to worst, his powers could get him out of any situation.

But here, with _her_.

She was so delicate.

Tomoyo's eyes fluttered open as he came within two feet of the couch.

"What did you think?" he asked, realizing how low his voice had become, how softly he was speaking.

She brushed the tear from her cheek. "It's fine," she said faintly.

"Fine?" he questioned, moving closer.

Her eyes darted to the piano, then to his chest, then back down to her hands. "Fine," she repeated.

He knelt beside the arm of the chair.

"Fine?" he pressed, and gasped harshly.

Blood welled in her palm, where her long nails had dug ruthlessly for the minutes that he played his piece. He grabbed for her hand.

"No!" She pulled back.

"You're bleeding on your dress, Tomoyo-"

She met his eyes. "Do you think I care?"

"Don't let it flow like that," he said, and tugged a handkerchief out of his pocket. "Take this."

She stared at her bloody hand.

"It's going to dry under your nails," he warned.

She glared at him and snatched the handkerchief. "Is that… Spinel Sun?" she asked, examining a corner.

"Well," he said, reaching for her bleeding hand while she was distracted, "It's Nakuru's rather pathetic attempt at embroidery. Considering it's blue and seems to have a body and a tail, I would say that's a fair guess."

She half-hearted pulled her hand away, but he grasped it and took the handkerchief to press against her cuts.

"It's not pathetic," Tomoyo said, resigning herself to his ministrations.

"Nakuru will be pleased," he replied. "Hold this here," he instructed her as he stood. "Do you have rubbing alcohol and bandages?"

"I don't need them," she said petulantly.

"You're being a child," he admonished.

"I don't. I get cuts all the time and nothing ever happens." She glared at him defiantly.

He looked at her in mock horror. "Such confidence! This could be that one time, Tomoyo, that something horrible _does_ happen. And what would you do without your hands? What would we do without your hands?"

"My hands are of no concern to you, Hiiragizawa-kun," she said as she stood and brought herself to her full height, the top of her head reaching just past his chin. "And as for what would happen if they were to become infected, I happen to know some excellent hand doctors and will be just fine, thank you." She started to walk past him.

He caught her hand and saw her wince.

"Now, Tomoyo, where are you going?" he asked.

She turned and glared.

"That is also none of your concern," she said. "You may leave my house now."

"But what of the song?"

Her eyes darkened. "The song… is fine. I'll sing it."

"Will you be fine?"

"You may come back tomorrow at four to practice. Unless you would rather another location," she said, ignoring his query.

He released her hand. "As you wish, Tomoyo-san," he said with a flourish, and walked out of the room.

She looked into the empty room, at the doorway he had just vacated, the piano he had played, and at the couch he had knelt, waiting for the front door to open and close.

"Have a nice day, Hiiragizawa-sama." And the heavy front door closed.

She dashed for the bathroom.

When inside, she reached mechanically for the box of bandages as she tip-toed to look out the window. She saw the long path, the gate, the streets beyond. Where was he? Her eyes darted around the manicured front lawn-

There. Just coming into view as he walked down the path. He was smiling and- whistling? Did Hiiragizawa Eriol _whistle_?

She tucked the thought away as she pulled out a bandage.

And though she could not (or would not) explain the reason, her eyes remained fixated on his retreating back as she absent-mindedly bandaged her cuts.

* * *

He came on time the next day, showing up at her door with a copy of the piece for her. She wasn't sure if she wanted this reminder in her house all the time, on top of all the others, but she supposed it couldn't be helped. She must practice, after all; she wouldn't have him thinking her a slow learner. 

He started with voice exercises with her, going up and down the scale. She would stand just to the side of the piano, her back to him and the piano, though she knew he was always looking at her.

When they finished the warm-up, she expected him to launch in to the song, but he stopped. She turned her head quizzically, to find him looking at her strangely.

"What?" It was out of character for her to be so direct, so rude, but he really wasn't worth the effort it took to be polite.

"Daidouji-san," he began, equally out of character- since when was she "Daidouji-san" again- "What are you wearing?"

She turned around. "This," she said, pointing to her clothing. "I never thought you were blind, Hiiragizawa-kun."

He smiled faintly. "Forgive me; I was wondering what you were wearing to the wedding," he said.

To the wedding.

She was going to be a bridesmaid, undoubtedly, though Sakura-chan had said nothing. She certainly wasn't the most organized of people.

"Whatever Sakura-chan picks out," she told him.

"But you'll change, won't you? For the reception?" he persisted.

"Why do you need to know?"

His smile widened. "I think you should wear something red. Something dark, and sultry, and-"

He stopped as she glared.

"I am not taking wardrobe advice from you, thank you very much." She crossed her arms in what she hoped was a final and businesslike manner, and said, "Now, can we begin practicing?"

"Why not?" He pouted.

He was scaring her. Hiiragizawa-kun _smiling, _and _whistling_, and _pouting_, and-

Flirting.

"Hiiragizawa Eriol, _what_ are you doing?" she demanded.

He looked at her innocently.

Innocently!

But as her glare showed no signs of letting up, he decided to reply.

"I," he began with a flourish, "am trying to get in your proverbial pants."

She looked at him, stunned, then slapped him.

He stood abruptly, pushing the bench back quickly and taking one quick stride to stand in front of her. She found herself at eye level with his chest (she had a sensation of déjà vu), and tilted her head all the way back to look at his face. She found him looking very seriously down at her. Then he said, in an exasperated voice, "Can you honestly not tell, Tomoyo, when someone is trying to cheer you up?"

She looked away from him, cheeks reddening.

He put a finger under her chin, and lifted her face.

"Has it really been so long?" he asked gently.

Shrugging his finger off, she stepped away from him. "She tries," she said, shrugging. "And he tries. And sometimes my mother… but never from a boy…" She trailed off, looking down at the piano.

"A boy?" Somewhere in the back of his head, something twitched.

A boy, now was he?

"Yes, a boy," she affirmed. "Boys are… elusive."

"Elusive?" Twitch.

Elusive, to describe the throngs of boys in love with her?

"Sit down, please," he said.

She looked surprised.

He motioned towards the bench.

"Please," he repeated.

She eyed him suspiciously. "I'm the singer," she said.

"This has nothing to do with the song, Tomoyo."

She crossed her arms.

"Tomoyo, _please_," he urged.

"Why?" she asked.

He sighed. "I would like to clear a few misconceptions you seem to have about society. And people."

"Such as?"

"Such as the belief you harbor that boys are these mysterious, difficult to pin down people that won't go near you."

"They won't."

"Only because you're so obviously infatuated with Sakura-"

"Nobody knew."

"Shown enough hints, even boys will figure something out over time, Tomoyo. And given half a chance, any one of these… boys… would have gladly jumped at the chance to cheer you up. Which leads to your second misconception, which is that all males are boys."

She shrugged. "Males, boys, Hiiragizawa-kun, they're all the same."

"Boys, my dear Tomoyo, are pathetically immature creatures that resort to dirty jokes and ridiculous feats in a girl's presence in hopes of capturing her attention. I only lowered myself to such a level since I assumed you would be familiar with-"

"Hiiragizawa-kun," she interrupted, "While you may like to place yourself on a pedestal, somewhere high above the rest of society, being half the reincarnation of Clow Reed, (which, I might add, only contributes to your arrogance) you are just the same as all of the b-"

His mouth on hers silenced her.

She stiffened.

She had never been kissed by a boy…

And yet, instinctively, as she relaxed infinitesimally, she knew that this was not a boy's kiss. This was not a chaste, artless, essentially meaningless kiss. This was…

Oh god, _Sakura-chan_.

She pushed him away.

* * *

Author's note: Well. Wasn't that a fun place to end? I _will_ finish this by the end of the school year if it kills me (unless, however, I die of the incredible stress of junior year and AP classes, in which case forgive me and pretend I'm Frank Herbert. AHAHA -;;). I know that last time I said I would finish by the end of the year, and I haven't touched this story in 9 months. I reread it many a time, but couldn't find the spark to keep going. So keep that in mind as you review (please ); a year has basically passed, and the story is changing directions, the mood is changing directions, and our dear, beloved characters seem to be mutating right before our eyes. OO (and bleeding a lot, it seems. I just reread it. Bloooooood… ooo. Aah.) 

Yep.

To all my reviewers: Chocolates and chocolates and chocolates upon chocolates shall shower down up on you. (And if you're allergic, a candy of your choice )

Oh, and I really, really, really, really, really, really, really would love it if someone would be my beta reader. If you're willing, please leave your name/email thanks so much .


	5. Love and Pain

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.

Soundtrack: All Fish Leong songs, Who Needs Shelter by Jason Mraz

Author's Note: Once again, I am so sorry. for the long hiatus. And at last, I do believe we see an end in sight.

**Part Five: Love and Pain**

"Eriol-kun," Sakura began, then hesitated. Though she stood just behind him, he seemed not to have heard her. "Eriol-kun?"

He had been staring off into space, sneaking glances at Tomoyo-chan for ages. This was not the Eriol-kun that Sakura knew, and she was worried. Plus, he was being no help whatsoever with the wedding plans. This was a wedding planning meeting, after all.

Not that anyone was being particularly helpful, anyway.

Tomoyo-chan had been distracted herself; she tried to help Sakura and seemed attentive, looking at dresses and clothes, but every once in a while, after Sakura would ask her something, she would take the dark blue top and pale orange dress and juxtapose them, holding them up for Sakura to see. She seemed completely lost. And Tomoyo-chan was never lost.

Syaoran was still grumping about inviting Eriol-kun in the first place ("What does _he_ have to do with the wedding?"). He was glaring at Eriol-kun's back every time he thought Sakura wasn't looking, and sometimes he even looked at Tomoyo-chan the same way. And he loved Tomoyo-chan, so something was wrong.

Kero-chan was demanding to know when were going to try wedding cakes ("Sweets!") and Suppi-chan, trying to look aloof and recondite, could hardly contain the drool every time Kero-chan mentioned the word "cake."

And where were Onii-chan and Yukito-kun?

"Eriol-kun!"

He jumped.

Eriol-kun never jumped.

Something was very, very wrong.

Grabbing his shirtsleeve, she dragged him out of the room and down the hallway.

"What happened with Tomoyo-chan, Eriol-kun?" she asked, as soon as she knew that they wouldn't be overheard.

He smoothed his shirt, keeping his gaze from her. "We're still doing the duet, don't worry, Sakura-san," he said.

"_What happened_?" As the Clow Mistress, she had an inborn ability to control which she often used unwittingly but effectively.

"Sakura-san-"

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and Syaoran came into sight.

"Hiiragizawa, what the hell have you done to her?" he demanded.

Eriol opened his mouth-

"I knew there was something strange," Li cut him off, glaring. "You- her- so suddenly, and so nicely. So _nicely_. You are _never_ nice without purpose, Hiiragizawa, I know you." He paced. "Mizuki-sensei dropped you, didn't she? She finally saw you for the arrogant teenager you are, reincarnation of Clow or not. And you're here looking for consolation. And who's more vulnerable now than Daidouji? I can't believe I never thought that after she disappeared after our engagement party-"

"You mean you actually noticed?" Eriol interjected sourly.

"Don't be an ass, Hiiragizawa. So you were there. Sakura had felt something earlier that day, but I never thought you would try something like this, not even you."

"Try what?" His throat clenched. So his darling descendant had figured it all out, had he?

"You tried to _force her_!"

Silence.

Eriol blinked at a glowering Li, and at a shocked Sakura-san.

After several seconds, he finally choked something out.

"You- you think I came here to get into Tomoyo's _pants_?"

The unrelenting glare was all the answer he needed.

He burst out laughing.

* * *

Of course, she didn't see what was so funny when related the story to her. 

"You were clearly trying to get into _somebody's_ pants, Hiira-"

"Eriol," he interrupted.

She ignored him. "Hiiragizawa-kun," she said pointedly. "You said as much, the other day." She glanced at his face, then looked quickly back down at her embroidery.

The other day, hmmm?

They had studiously eschewed the topic for a week now, neither willing to bring it up for fear of the other's reaction. Eriol thought perhaps that for once in his life, he had gone too far. Tomoyo thought that perhaps for once in her life, she might as well have gone as far as the moment would have taken her. But of course, neither would admit it.

Pride had its drawbacks.

"The other day, Tomoyo?" he inquired as he surveyed her from the piano. They had taken a break from practicing for her to create Sakura-san's dress and later her own bridesmaid's dress.

She jabbed the needle into the (very cute) pincushion and gave him a _look_.

He looked right back at her.

"Hiiragizawa-kun, it was a very nice gesture, although really did little to cheer me up," she said.

Eyes never leaving hers, he said softly, "Then what did it do, Tomoyo?"

"It made me realize how much I love Sakura."

For the second time that day, Hiiragizawa Eriol choked after hearing something completely unexpected.

For the second time that day, the statement confused him.

But for the first time that day, the statement hurt him.

There was a silence, in which Tomoyo went sedately back to her embroidery and Eriol thought wildly, then he spoke up.

"Well," he said with false cheer, "I have many uses, now don't I? Now, why don't we take the piece from the top, the wedding's in less than three months!"

He felt her cringe, ever so slightly.

Hurt all around.

And she sang.

* * *

As the days passed, the weeks passed, and soon a month, and then another, and there were only two weeks left until the wedding. Most things were left unmentioned during this time; Eriol and Tomoyo practiced like strangers, Sakura forgot a million things for her wedding and jumped up and down frantically until she called Tomoyo, who of course had it all covered, and Syaoran monitored the Eriol situation as best he could. Eriol had proclaimed his innocence, but he was never to be trusted, so naturally Syaoran kept a close watch on him. 

But then, Eriol kept an even closer watch on him.

So that day, as Sakura thrust the pair of them out the door ("Tomoyo-chan's got the dress in her car, and you can't see it, Syaoran. Eriol-kun, would you keep him company?"), Eriol decided to answer the questions he knew were about to come.

"Darling descendent," he said ever so patronizingly, "You've been watching me for two months. Do you honestly still think I came here to, well, 'get in Tomoyo's pants?"

"No."

Li did not look at him as they walked down the path.

No? That wouldn't explain Li's barely shielded hostility towards him.

"Then why, cute descendent of mine, do you constantly emanate barely suppressed rage in my direction?" he inquired.

"You've done something to her."

"And what might that be?"

Li stopped and looked at him. "You tell me."

Eriol swore silently, frustrated. "What the hell do you mean, Li?"

"You don't know, Hiiragizawa?" he glared at him. "You don't know how you've hurt her somehow, changed her back to- I hate to admit it, but in the beginning of your-" he paused "- relationship, I suppose, she changed. There was something different about the way she was looking at Sakura, and certainly at you. But now she's back, she's pining worse than ever, and I can't believe you can't tell. Yes, I believe you're here and you're up to something, despite that something being something other than trying to sleep with Daidouji."

"She looked at me differently?" Eriol asked.

"Don't play stupid," Li snapped, beginning to pace. "It doesn't work for you."

Nobody ever understood him. In the past, they had underestimated him, to their detriment. Now, Li overestimated him.

Would his pride let him ask what he needed to?

He was silent, looking off into the flowerbeds. He did know, somewhere within him. It didn't seem right to admit it, somehow, without reassurance. It was strange; he had never needed reassurance in his life, and certainly not from annoyingly perceptive descendents. But maybe he needed to step down from the pedestal.

"I think I love her," he said quietly.

Li stopped. "Don't say that."

"I think she knows."

"What did you _do_, Hiiragizawa?" Li asked, voice barely audible.

Eriol continued over him, eyes still glued to the flowers. "I don't think she was ready. If she'll ever be ready. Sakura-san doesn't know what she's doing, does she?"

"Sakura knows."

He barked a laugh. "Then she's no different from me, then, is she? She hurts the ones closest-"

"Daidouji needs the routine," Li interjected. "You should know that. It sounds callous, but it's an old pain, and she knows how to deal with it. I want her to move on as much as you do, or Sakura does, or even she does. But not with you. She can't deal with you."

"I do love her," he said, turning to face Li.

The door swung open, and Sakura stuck her head out. "We're done, boys! You can come back in now," she trilled, either not seeing or ignoring the hostility at the end of her walk, and let the door swing shut as she darted back inside.

Li looked Eriol in the eye. "I don't doubt it. But you've loved many women, Eriol, or rather, Clow." He turned. "She will not be your next conquest." He walked briskly away from Eriol to the door, pulled it open, and stepped out of sight.

Eriol stood and looked down the path Li had gone. He could not go inside, not now. He did not know how long he spent there, eyes seemingly focused on the door, but when he realized what he had been doing, and that nobody came looking for him, he assumed that Li had made the necessary excuses for him. He needed to leave Sakura's house. Tomoyo's presence.

Maybe Japan, altogether.

He gave the house a final look, and went to his car. As he started the engine, he was startled to hear a soft rapping on his window.

She stood outside his window, eyes as nakedly emotional as he had ever seen them, clearly pleading with him. He unlocked the passenger door, and she got in.

"Can we go?"

"Of course."

Anything for you.

* * *

Author's notes: Yes, I realize it drags and it's shorter, but I swear something is going to happen in the next chapter. And I need this time to pass between _the kiss_ and you know. The end. Which may or may not have another kiss. o 

And I realize that last time I updated, I swore I would finish it before the end of junior year, and look at me… two weeks from finishing the first semester of my senior year, and still not done. So my only promise is that I am working really really hard on this…I'm failing Calc BC for this fic (no, that's a lie, I was failing before, but it sounds so dramatic that way). RR kiddos.


	6. Fairy Tales and Lectures

Disclaimer: CCS doesn't belong to me.

Soundtrack: Collide by Howie Day, Simple Love by Jay Chou

Author's Note: Yeah, that was fast. Aren't you proud of me? It barely took 2 weeks for me to crank this chapter out. Noting that, it is a bit shorter than the previous ones, but I'm already hard at work on the final chapter, so enjoy & please review! (I hate to sound… review-grubbing… but I only got three reviews on my last chapter, and I was rather sad. --;; please review…)

**Part Six: Fairy Tales and Lectures**

Tomoyo walked down the street towards Sakura's house with hair products and makeup in a bag. They had decided it would be good to give her entire look a test run before the morning of the wedding.

Tomoyo, however, had also wanted a distraction. Her thoughts had been veering eerily out of the territory of her beloved Sakura-chan's upcoming nuptials, and instead in the direction of a certain missing tall, dark, and…

Tall, dark, and what? she asked herself, taunting herself.

Handsome, a little voice said stubbornly. You know it.

She hated little voices, she thought, half-scowling.

He had been gone for a week. His house was locked up, empty, and dead.

Li-kun had seemed to expect it, Sakura-chan had seemed disappointed but expecting it, and Tomoyo… she didn't know what she expected from him.

In his absence, she would sing a cappella at the wedding; the piano had lent itself well to the piece, but Sakura-chan had insisted on her singing alone after his departure.

"Tomoyo-chan, you're so good!" she had said. "Please?"

Tomoyo-chan could never refuse her.

And so she practiced alone, devoting herself to the piece and ending it in tears, again and again.

It seemed like she did a lot alone, these days. She had gotten accustomed to his presence; he had somehow always managed to be there, walking into the room the moment she thought about him. She had never noticed until reflected back on it.

There was less than a week until the wedding, and since all the clothing and preparations had been made, she had little left to do. Besides today's trial and the festivities and preparations on the actual wedding day, Tomoyo had very little to busy herself with, nothing to distract her with. Exams were over and done, but summer held nothing for her. Not the beach, not the sun, and certainly none of the wild antics of typical "liberated" students.

He wasn't a typical student either, she thought suddenly.

Him again.

Looking back, it seemed inevitable that he would leave after what she had said.

"Goodbye," he had said, after he dropped her off. His deep blue eyes once again reflected nothing. Their relationship- could she even call it that?- had undergone an arc. Strangers, then friends, then something she couldn't place, and ultimately, strangers again.

She looked up, and found herself at Sakura's doorstep.

The door opened before she had a chance to ring the bell.

"Tomoyo-chan!" her best friend squealed, pulling her into a hug. She was pink-cheeked and fresh-faced, adorned in pajama pants and a t-shirt, and her hair was up in curlers. "I saw you from my bathroom window!" She winked conspiratorially. "Yuki-kun and Onii-chan are in the family room, so I think we should go upstairs."

Tomoyo smiled faintly and allowed her hand to be taken and herself led quietly up the stairs.

They entered her familiar bright room, a room virtually unchanged since Sakura-chan's elementary school days. The walls were yellow, the large windows letting in copious amounts of sunlight to illuminate the room; it was a cheery reflection of Sakura-chan's disposition. The familiar desk sat beside the windowsill full of the hundreds of stuffed animals she had collected since she was a child. The windowsill, however, had long since been filled, and the animals were now strewn along that wall, adorable faces smiling up at anyone who entered the room.

Kero-chan zipped by, wobbling slightly in the air, then backtracked to stop in front of her face.

"KONNICHIWA, TOMOYO-SAN!" he greeted her, hiccupping.

Sakura laughed. "He found the chocolate Syaoran gave me last week, and well, look at him now."

"Konnichiwa, Kero-chan," Tomoyo returned, struggling to contain her laughter.

"WHAT are you?" Kero-chan began, "Wha…r'you…wha'r'you'na'do?"

But before Tomoyo could answer, he dropped straight down onto the corner of the bed, snoring loudly.

"It's about time," Sakura said. "He's getting more and more like Suppi-chan with those sweets."

She rummaged through her drawers, pulling out various tubes of lipstick, eyeliner, containers of foundation, powder- all the makeup she owned.

"Is that enough?" she asked, turning to look at Tomoyo.

"Of course," Tomoyo replied.

Sakura-chan flashed her a brilliant smile. "Let's get started!" And she proceeded to the seat in front of her mirror, Tomoyo following closely.

She had always followed her. Followed her with her V8, capturing every adventure, every moment of Sakura-chan's life. She had created costume after costume, always the girl behind the girl. The woman behind the woman, now.

But she had created her last costume for Sakura-chan, her final silk and lace confection. Her ultimate.

Always the best for Sakura-chan.

As they settled down, Tomoyo emptied the contents of her own bags onto the table, and pulled out the brush.

"I put these in last night," her best friend announced.

Tomoyo smiled. "Very thoughtful, Sakura-chan." She began taking out the curlers.

She worked for several minutes in amiable silence.

"I have a story to tell you, Tomoyo-chan," said Sakura, suddenly.

"What story is it?" she asked obligingly. Her attention, however, was focused on Sakura-chan's hair. Her hair was perpetually soft, a warm brown, and it fell easily to her shoulders; it felt wonderful in Tomoyo's hands.

"It's about a princess."

Tomoyo smiled. "Of course," she said indulgently.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess," Sakura began. "She was a princess so beautiful she could have had any prince in the world, but she didn't have one. Not even one."

She paused to take several curlers from Tomoyo.

"That was because she was so preoccupied with her little kitty cat. She had gotten the little kitty when she was five, and had grown up with it. She took her kitty everywhere, dressing it up in pretty outfits and adoring it with all of her heart."

Tomoyo handed her the rest of the curlers, and she handed Tomoyo the brush.

"But when the beautiful princess was 17, the kitty was already 12, a very old kitty for her years. She was no longer the playmate that the princess had always had. Even so, as princes would come to court, they always saw the princess with her kitty, pampering and doting on it."

Tomoyo swept Sakura-chan's hair up, around, and secured it with the bobby pins. She loves the kitty, she thought.

"And one day, this gorgeous prince came. Tall, dark, and handsome, he was also intelligent and caring, and happily enough for her parents, rich and powerful. He spent more time on her than any of the other princes of the past, taking time to get to know her- and her kitty."

Tomoyo pulled out the curls she wanted, looping them around her fingers and spritzing them with hairspray so that they would maintain their shape. Tall, dark, and handsome…

"But in the end, the beautiful princess still wouldn't take him, choosing to devote her time to the kitty that was bound to leave her soon."

Tomoyo spritzed the finished product.

"What do you think?"

Their eyes met in the mirror.

"Every princess should have her prince," the bride-to-be said.

"You look beautiful, Sakura-chan."

"Because of you, Tomoyo-chan."

* * *

On another island on the other side of the Eurasian continent, Eriol fared little better. His "talking-to," however, was far more direct. 

"I still don't know what you think you're doing, Master," said Nakuru, giving him a piteous look as they moved down the aisle at the supermarket. "We love Tomoyo-chan… or at least, me and Suppi-chan do," he said, nudging the tiny blue creature.

Spinel Sun, sitting in Eriol's shirt pocket pretending to be a plushie, ignored him.

"_Ne, _Suppi-chan?!" Nakuru thrust his face into Spinel Sun's.

The would-be plushie stayed silent. Nakuru reached out to grab him, but Eriol raised a hand.

"Leave him alone," Eriol said. "Are you done yet?"

Nakuru straightened and looked his master in the eye.

"You have been moping for a week, and only when I mentioned that we were going to go buy flowers. Flowers!"

Eriol glared at him.

Nakuru glared right back, and pulled a pack of brown sugar from the shelf.

"The girl is _confused_," he began, tone lecturing, "and _you_ made the idiotic decision to run away from her, because your poor little feelings got hurt, so don't take it out on us, okay?"

"I haven't said anything," replied Eriol.

Nakuru gave him a Look. "You never say anything, dear Master. You just… emanate. You emanate depression and disgust and desire, all at once, and everyone around you is affected." He pointed at Spinel Sun. "We, sadly, are far more attuned to your feelings, since we were most unfortunately created this way."

The plushie glared at him.

Eriol glared harder at him.

He shrugged, and pushed the cart around the aisle, into the next aisle.

"Spoons!" he said happily.

"You don't need to get so excited about spoons."

Nakuru pulled a pack of measuring spoons from the shelf and turned to face his master. "At least," he said, pointing the spoons at Eriol, "I can get excited about _something_." He stepped closer, and the spoons stopped mere centimeters from Eriol's nose. "At least I'm _doing something_-" he punctuated each word with a snap of his wrist –"in my life, besides sitting at home and watching bad English soaps."

Eriol's glare faltered somewhat.

His faithful but exasperated servant sighed. "You're an idiot, and I hope you know that." He dropped the spoons into the cart and strode off, leaving Eriol and Spinel Sun with the cart.

"Where are you going?" Eriol called after him, annoyed.

"To get the latest edition of 'Bride'! Because if I can't be there, I at least want to see some pretty dresses!"

* * *

Author's Note: I've never used hair curlers before, so if my description is off, feel free to tell me. And stay tuned… for the final chapter! OO  



	7. Untitled

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, though one day when I become rich and famous, I am going to try to forcibly take over all of CLAMP's assets. Just watch me. But don't sue me now

Soundtrack: Frou Frou- Let Go (watch garden state, it's freaking awesome)

Author's Notes: the final chapter. Dum dum da dum. Notice something different? No title… alas, nothing has emerged from the depths of my mind, so I'm setting up a **contest**- title this chapter for me! If you have the best title, well, your prize is that it becomes the title and that you get recognized in a paragraph up here.

Much thanks to Mizufaia and Leia for reading this, helping me make sense of it, and catching my silly mistakes.

**Part Seven: Untitled**

The day arrived.

Tomoyo had slept over at Sakura's house, a sort of close-friend bachelorette party with all of their old classmates from elementary school in a party that had included lots giggles, lots of sexual innuendo, and lots of reminiscing about old crushes.

She knew her part well; she smiled quietly in the corner, carrying out her façade perfectly, as usual, and with everyone focused on Sakura-chan (though this was hardly unusual, in itself), nobody noticed her.

The girls woke early and were one by one shooed out of the house, leaving Tomoyo and Sakura alone. Tomoyo did her hair as Sakura chatted, pondering if _that boy _would be at the wedding, but was unwilling to voice her thoughts. Therefore, while Sakura gushed and squealed, Tomoyo wondered how she could possibly be thinking about that boy on the day of her beloved Sakura-chan's wedding, then wondered inanely why she was questioning her own thoughts, and ultimately gave up wondering altogether, letting her mind wander as it would.

Underneath her cheery and incessant chatter, Sakura could sense Tomoyo's unease and confusion. But Tomoyo-chan would have to work this out on her own, she decided. She would give her the time to do so, by continuing to talk about anything that came to her mind – she doubted Tomoyo-chan would notice anyway – and hopefully giving her best friend time to mull over her words from last week. On this day, there was nothing left for her to say. She wanted Tomoyo-chan to find her own happiness, but that sort of happiness wasn't something she could give her. Not true happiness.

Syaoran would be so annoyed with her, she thought with a smile. He really didn't like Eriol-kun, but she had finally gotten him to admit yesterday that Eriol-kun seemed genuinely interested in Tomoyo-chan and his actions had been completely gentlemanly. What she hadn't managed was a promise not to beat up Eriol-kun if he showed up at the wedding, which she had a hunch he would, but she trusted her ability to keep Syaoran distracted if such a situation did arise.

With a smile growing on her face, she licked her lips.

Yamakazi-kun leaned against the doorway and smiled down at Tomoyo.

"Are you ready?"

The walk down the aisle.

The female members of the wedding party were assembled in a back room of the church, visible just behind Tomoyo, the bridesmaids, in their light pink gowns, scattered across the room, each fixing last minute hair and makeup problems, scrambling to get ready for the line of groomsmen waiting outside the door. Tomoyo was dressed in lavender. Her dress had a halter top and was long and flowing, with the slightest hint of a train. Pink sakura blossoms were embroidered along the bodice, and a larger flower was pinned along the very bottom of the dress, just before the short train. The dress was form-fitting but not clingy, flowing along her slight curves instead of hugging them. Her black hair poured down her shoulders, clipped up against her temple on either side of her head with bobby pins so her hair would frame her face.

Simple. That was how she would have described herself.

Yamakazi, though he had a steady girlfriend, could have told anyone otherwise. Even Chiharu would agree, he knew. Daidouji-san was not the type of girl of whom other girls were jealous, fearing that she would steal their boyfriends. She was the type of girl whom males and females alike admired for her statuesque, unreal beauty; they saw a perfect girl with the most beautiful smile and complexion and eyes and hair.

"Yes, I am," the girl replied.

So few saw her as anything but perfect. Only Sakura-chan, Li-kun, and… that boy.

Again, her thoughts brought her to him. No. She would not think of him, not now, not during the ceremony, and certainly not during the reception.

There was another boy offering her his arm, and in this moment she needed to perform her duty – her final duty, perhaps, to her best friend.

She took his arm, and they walked to wait in front of the closed double doors, waiting for their cue.

"You look very beautiful, Daidouj-san," he said.

"Thank you, Yamakazi-kun," she replied.

The doors opened, and they began their slow walk to the altar.

The ceremony had been a blur.

She remembered bits and pieces, especially the final sequence:

"I do."

Sakura's eyes shone, her face beamed, her entire body, swathed in lacey white, seemed to emanate brilliance as she looked into Syaoran's eyes.

"I do."

He looked tenderly down at her, cinnamon brown eyes full of love.

"You may now kiss the bride."

She watched with a sort of fascinated horror, bracing for the deluge of hurt and pain she was sure would come at that moment.

But it never came.

It nagged at her. She could have sworn she felt relief. A strange feeling, at Sakura-chan's wedding.

She sat at the long table alone, everyone else having gone to dance. Couples swarmed over the dance floor. The song was slow, now, and they had their arms wrapped around each other as they swayed slowly, gently, the girls looking so contented, the boys looking so gently protective.

She could feel people watching her. Single girls at weddings were always singled out, either with sympathy or veiled contempt, though she supposed this wedding was a bit different since the bride and groom were still young. Still, the stigma was there, and she saw older women whispering, listened as the occasional older lady told her kindly that she would be next, and ignored the drunken men leering at her.

"May I have this dance?"

For a split second, she thought it was him. That he had come, completely disrupting her goal not to think about his arrival, not to look for his tall, dark figure in the crowd. But then the voice registered; a voice not quite as low as his, not quite as mature, and she looked up.

Li-kun stood in front of her, hand extended. Sakura-chan slid into the seat next to her, gratefully sipping water. She smiled encouragingly at Tomoyo.

"Yes," Tomoyo replied, standing. "Of course."

They stayed along the edge of the dance floor. The song was slow but not sensual or romantic, a perfect song for a gentleman to dance with a lady with no implications.

"Thank you," he said.

Their eyes met, and both saw in the each other the millions of words of appreciation that never needed to be said.

She gave him a small smile.

"I'll be good to her."

"I know."

Silence reigned.

The song ended and she inclined her head in thanks, then moved back towards the table – but he caught her hand.

"One more."

His eyes pleaded with her.

Another song began, and she put her arm back around him in silent consent.

"Were you happy with him?"

Startled, she missed a step. He righted her gracefully.

After a moment, she said, "Sometimes." And it was the truth.

He was silent. She glanced at his face, meeting his considering gaze, allowing him to find the words he wanted to say.

"If you can be happy with him," he said finally, "It would mean the world to me and Sakura."

"I know."

Another silent minute, then, "You're up next, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Then the second song ended and he gave her a brief hug before letting her go, and as the DJ began his string of banalities before he introduced Tomoyo, she made her way back to the table for a sip of water.

As the groom had done, the bride also caught her in a tight hug.

"I love you," Sakura whispered into her best friend's jet black hair, her voice muffled but her meaning absolutely clear.

Tomoyo's eyes welled, but the dull ache she had always felt when Sakura expressed any type of love for her did not appear.

"I love you too, Sakura-chan." The moment seemed to last a lifetime.

She broke from her best friend in the world, in her life, just as the DJ announced her name.

"Daidouji Tomoyo!"

And with the tears still in her eyes, the strange relief still in her heart, and butterflies in her stomach, Tomoyo made her way onstage. Distantly, she felt herself turn on the microphone, stand up straight, and take a deep breath.

She sang.

She pushed the double doors open gently, her steps determinedly steady as she walked down the hallway.

She had done it. She had sung at Sakura-chan's wedding alone.

She had sung at Sakura-chan's wedding without tears.

She had sung at Sakura-chan's wedding without that faint feeling of betrayal that had haunted her for so long.

Pausing for a moment in front of the gorgeous, blown-up picture of Li-kun and Sakura-chan labeled with the words "Li Wedding" in gorgeous calligraphy, she reached out with two fingers, delicately placing them on Sakura-chan's face.

There was still something inside of her that brought the sting to the corner of her eyes.

"It's a beautiful picture," came a low voice.

Somehow, despite everything she tried to tell herself earlier, she wasn't surprised.

"You're a little late," she said, without turning.

"Not that late," he said, coming closer. She could feel him, mere steps behind her.

"I saw you."

What did he mean? She pulled her hand from the photograph, her hand clenching.

He came closer.

"I saw you sing, Tomoyo. I saw your eyes as you sang, as you looked at her." He swallowed, as if he were nervous.

Hiiragizawa Eriol, nervous?

"I thought it would be enough for me to come and see you once more," he continued. He gave a short bark of laughter. "Maybe you would see me."

She bit her lip.

He's trying to tell me something. He's talking to me again, not like a stranger after I said –

After what I said.

She knew what he felt. Of course he was nervous. He might have been half the reincarnation of Clow Reed, and in so many ways worldly and otherworldly, but his other half, the inexperienced, teenage half, grounded him in humanity.

And human emotions were… tricky.

How did I sing tonight? she asked herself again. Could she really be that selfless? She always thought she could be, but she remembered a hallway just like this, so many months ago.

Her eyes had found him so many times earlier. Her eyes searched for him, for the reassurance that he was there, and maybe something more. Something inside had her told her that he was here tonight – was what he said really a surprise?

No.

She was still human, in the end. Not a robot. Not a martyr. She was alive, and breathing, and feeling, and… no longer wanting, not that way.

"I don't…" she started quietly.

He tensed behind her.

"I don't love her," she murmured, her eyes never leaving the picture of Sakura's shining face, her words so soft she wasn't sure if she actually said them aloud or not. "Not in that way." Words that were a revelation to her. "…not anymore." Words that at the same time amazed and explained everything to her.

She sensed him move behind her, then stop. Turning to face him, she stopped to gape at him.

More exactly, to gape at the massive bouquet of flowers he held in one hand.

"Are those…?"

He handed them gently to her, and she breathed in their scent. Emboldened, he stepped closer, one hand reaching out to cup her face. His thumb brushed a tear from below her eye – a tear she hadn't known was there. It all washed over her, in that one moment; apparently all that she felt on the inside had been mirrored on the outside.

He put his arms around her, gently, and she relaxed into his embrace, the veritable maelstrom of feelings and thoughts slowly settling.

She loved Sakura.

She loved Sakura, and she knew Sakura loved her as best she could.

She loved Sakura, yet she knew it was no longer – had it ever really been? – _that_ kind of love.

She loved Sakura, and yet, there was this boy – no, she thought with a smile – this _man_ holding her, understanding her, comforting her with his own way.

"Tomoyo," Eriol murmured into her ear, "I want to see you smile."

She brought the bouquet back up to her nose, adoring its scent and hiding the grin that grew on her face behind the blossoms.

"Why?" she asked impishly, eyes sparkling as they met his, knowing what his answer would be.

"Because," he said, pushing the flowers gently down, "I think I love you." He bent his head down, clearly intent on a kiss, but she stopped him with a finger across his lips.

"You think?"

His hand came up to thread his fingers through hers, pulling her hand away from her mouth, leaving it open for his.

His lips met hers – and she knew what to expect this time.

When they finally broke apart, he looked at her very seriously, and she wondered what he could possibly want, after that.

"Would you like me to take you home?"

He remembered. She smiled.

"Yes, thank you, Hiiragi-"

He stopped her with a kiss.

A delighted peal of laughter rang down the hallway.

My prince.

"Eriol."

"Tomoyo."

Author's Note: Oh, my blessed gods, I am done, I am done, I am done! (hyperventilates) I have NEVER finished a multi-part fic in my life… Please review if you read it, even if you don't like it- I really appreciate any feedback I get… I'll love you all forever and ever… Ultimately, if anyone was watching the POV change, I decided to stick with an entirely Tomoyo ending, since the story, I've always felt, is her story, and Eriol is merely a prominent supporting character. I had written a bit of Eriol POV for this last bit, but it didn't work at all. The Cheese Factor is strong at the end here, but well… I can't help it. It's the end of an angsty romantic fic. shrugs

Much love to everyone who has followed this two-year work and reviewed.

Anybody interested in beta-ing my CCS and RK stories (especially RK, right now), let me know with an email, a review, or im me through AIM: anamotari.


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